I may have met my arch-nemesis here in paradise. You may know that I am rarely given to hyperbole ... but I am here to tell you that he was big. Easily the size of a small dog. And noisy. Clacking around in the cupboard, skittering away from the light. Trying to hide under a paper, but unable to reel in his ridiculously long antennae. Then he hoisted himself up and over a half wall. Watching his shiny brown armored body scurry up one side of the wall and down the other was like watching Bram Stoker's Dracula scale the side of the building upside down - just downright creepy. Michael sprayed him a couple of times with some nasty chemical, which finally slowed him down enough for me to render him unconscious by beating him with an anvil and blowing him up with some ACME dynamite. I think I heard him screaming when I flushed his battered carcass down the toilet. Oh wait, maybe that was me.
I feel the need to go shower now.